Dream

"Dream"

I don't really know how to define 

the meaning of this word in my dictionary.

Perhaps it can be defined as something unrealistic,

or just something fantasy 

that you are not able to reach in real life.

I used to dream to become a dancer.

I started to dance when I was in kindergarten. 

and I got the second prize of something like

 national kindergarten dance competition. haha!

Then, I joined dance club when I was standard 2 in primary school,

and I danced until I graduated from secondary school.

My last dance performance was last year,

Hari Kebudayaan of Yu Hua.

I really miss my dance life so so much!

Although it was tough and hard during training,

there are still the best memories during my high school life.

However, I stopped to dance after I had graduated. 

At some moment, I wish I can get a Diploma in Dance by studying at ASWARA.

But soon I realized that there's a way too far for me to achieve. 

My parents wouldn't allow me to become a full-time dancer,

and waste 3 years time to complete a diploma in dance.

The reason are just simple.

"You can't be a dancer for your entire life. 

What're you going to do when you get old?"

"You couldn't earn money from dance. Do you ever think about your future?"

Of course, I know the life of a dancer is short.

If I'm really insist on becoming a dancer,

I know I will definitely let my parents down.

Just like every parents,

My parents expect me to further my study at university,

work hard to get a good degree,

and find a good job.

So, this dream is just hiding in the deepest of my heart.

As you grown up,

there are more responsibility that you need to carry on your shoulders.

When there are more responsibility,

then more restrictions come into your life.

Now I understand why are people always miss their childhood 

and do not want to grow up.

Nonetheless, I'm still very satisfied with my life now.

I enrolled to a nice university and chose my interested course.

I live in a family which full of love and caring,

I got best friends who brighten up my life,

and I got a boy who always stay beside me.

However, if I could get another chance,

I wish I could have more courage 

to chase after what I really want.

Holiday so what?

Oh yea I'm having my 4 months long sem break.
I'm having such a long holiday,
SO WHAT?!
I'm not as free as you thought though.

Why do I have such a long holiday? 
Don't ask me! ask Nottingham or ask England!

Holiday so what?!
I need to fetch my bro & sis to tuition every single day.
I have to fetch my grandma to market for daily necessities. 

I have to go Pos Office, this bank and that bank blah blah blah bank 
to pay for the bills every months.
I have to do dad's office work,
which he brings home for me because he thought I'm very free wasting my time at home, and he thinks that I should learn something instead of doing nothing at home. -.-
I have to prepare for my piano diploma exam.
practice my pieces everyday,
practice the sight reading everyday
because my sight reading sucks.
I have to prepare program notes 
which are the analysis of every pieces I played.
and the exam falls on November but I'm only got 30% prepared.

I get to bed late every night and wake up slightly late the next day,
the slightly late which means 10am.
it's my daily routine, that's none of your business.
You don't need to remind me about waking up late is not so good everytime in front of me or others people.

What I said the above isn't telling everyone
about the greatness or hugeness of me.
I know all these are my responsibility as the eldest in the home.
I know that and I feel pleasure to do all these things actually.
I feel happy and pleasure to do something for my home 
to reduce my parents' burden as they have to work hard everyday for us.

But when you come to doubt me about how's my time spending during this holiday,
and thought I'm always free and doing nothing and wasting my time all the day long in my home,
It's really pissing me off!

Anyway, it's just a simple post to release my hard feeling.
I know the word "responsibility" very well,
and I will try my best to achieve the meaning of this word.
but when I'm doing what I suppose to do,
please just keep quiet and say nothing!

Recently

It's has been months that I didn't update my blog.

No doubts,

holidays make people lazy.

and I am seriously a very very lazy bum during holidays.

Very soon, 2 months holiday gone.

Although I started my foundation earlier than many friends,

I am the last one who go for degree.

Phewwww... no choice.

Nottingham's holiday is tooooo long.

I done my last subject on 31 May.

and I will start my undergraduate course on 24 September!

I have 2 more months to... play? haha!

3rd of June,

I went Penang with my Uni friends.

YinYin, Eeleen, Bernadette, SzeKei, JunKai, ZiHao, Eluan,YongLin, QinJian

We went Penang by train at the midnight and reached at 6am.

I definitely enjoy the trip with them!

Thanks for the Penang Langs :

JunKai, ZiHao, QinJian

Thank you for bringing us around!

You guys are really a pro guides!

In the end of June,

the boy is finally graduated and came back Malaysia!

We spent our first week by going around KL area

and tasted a lot of Taiwan style drinks. #doing survey

then, we spent our second week by going pasar malam.

we went pasar malam every night. #doing survey again

The boy is moving to another life stage.

There are many obstacles for him since he graduated.

Sincerely hope that everything will be fine soon.

Although there is too much things I can't help,

I will always support you no matter what!

:)

I need to work hard to keep fit!!

I.M.Y.

好像分开了很久
可是其实还不到八个星期


怎么要时间跑快点的时候
它就好像乌龟那么慢


越有空
我就越空虚



你几时才会回来?
我连你的样子都快要忘记了...

Y-Concert

拖了好久才更新

不是因为我懒惰 

而是因为

我在等着照片出炉

XD

Y-Concert

是我学了那么多年钢琴以来

第一次参与的演奏会

最后的大合唱
I Have A Dream

结束后的大合照

筹备了3~4个月

终于，Y-Concert

圆满结束了



整场演奏会
有钢琴，小提琴，大提琴，长笛，古筝
总的来说，
一切都很顺利
整场演奏会老师也很满意


不过我还是有弹错一点
对于买票来支持我的朋友
很不好意思
>.<

在筹备整场演奏会的过程中

我学到了很多

也认识到了很多热爱音乐的朋友

从中我领悟到，

不管做什么

最重要就是要保持热忱

用正确的态度

坚持到底

无可否认，

经过奋斗与努力后

目标达成的那种感觉

真的很美好。

有多久，

没有试过这种感觉了？

只要心中有那一股热诚

不管做什么事情，

都会很快乐。

真的很感谢很感谢，

当天晚上来捧我的场的家人和朋友。

谢谢舅舅，外婆，弟弟和妹妹

谢谢Roxanne & Von

虽然有事情忙，但是还是特意来看我

谢谢我大学的密友，YinYin, Mikko, Reen

虽然我们才认识了一年多，但是我们已经度过了很多大学里的"风风雨雨"

XD

谢谢我的crazy gang!

Ah Thi, Shu Hwa, Shanice, Ah Keat, Ali, Zhin Chin, Pin Huey, Huan Ran

还有 8 gua group : Wai Lin & Wai Hon

真的真的很谢谢你们，

特地买票来看我那几分钟的演出。

感激不尽感激不尽！！

不过很可惜的是，

很重要的人

爸爸，妈妈，还有他

都没办法出席。

希望还有下次，

可以再次站在台上演奏钢琴。

维持那一股热忱不容易，

坚持到底更不容易。

希望不管做什么事情，

我可以做得更好

:)

I am trying very very hard to stay positively.

Complicated feelings

Today is totally not my day. 

My mood today was like sitting on a roller coaster.

Up and down, up and down.

I woke up with a very happy and satisfied mood today.

But soon, I found out that the assignments are all gone.

The worst is Yin Yin has missed the lecture today.

I am so so so sorry :(

until now I still can't stop blaming myself because of this.

I am not blaming the laptop 

(although it's really stupid + this is not the 1st time)

I am blaming myself for always doing things at the last minute.

Sorry ah Yin Yin~~~

I can treat you Starbucks to compensate you :P

I promise I will do the report immediately next time.

not until the last day

T.T

Another thing is,

the boy is leaving today.

Just sent him to the airport,

I guess he is on the flight and flying back now.

I never expect he will come back for me on his holiday.

I thought it was just a simply thought of him.

However, he really purposely come back for me.

Although it was just 12 days,

it really warm my heart.

This is the first time I drove to airport alone, 

just for picking him up at the airport.

It is also the first time I sent him to the airport,

and seeing him go into the door.

Today is what a super duper complicated day for me!

my heart has never been calmed and peace since this morning.

I feel like my inside is like "rojak"

all the feelings are mixed together. 

I hate to say goodbye.

Again, we will be apart for few months.

I should have get used to it. 

Hopefully I do.

See you

♥

远距离

认识我的朋友应该都知道

我正在谈远距离恋爱

如果你问我们是怎么认识的

我只能说

也只能很老套的说

就是缘分

我自己也从来没想过

我会和他在一起

很多人都会问

远距离恋爱可靠吗？

远距离恋爱踏实吗？

远距离恋爱辛苦吗？

等等等

远距离恋爱的无奈

远距离恋爱的辛酸

远距离恋爱的困难

真的很难受

真的很折磨

不过这一切

在决定在一起前

就预料得到了

也是我自己说

这一切我都接受得到的

曾经在网上看过这么一段话

拍拖就應該經歷一下異地戀。體會一下欣喜憂愁無從分享，歡笑落淚不能擁抱。

隔著屏幕 隔著電 話隔著書信聯繫直到你幾乎瘋狂。
學會拒絕誘惑，學會處理一個人的時間，學會照顧自己。

也只有這樣，在下一個擁抱，乃至白頭偕老，你才會感恩。

『異地戀不僅是考驗著對方的耐心，更是考驗了自己的認真。』

远距离恋爱让我深刻的感受到

那种分离的痛苦与难过

即使经历了几次的分离与重逢

我还是无法适应分离的心情

分离后，

很难适应没有他在身边的日子。

渐渐适应后，

他又要回来了。

不过庆幸的是

我们的距离虽然是3000多公里

但是没有时差

一分钟也没有

缘分就是那么奇妙

常常把两个不同世界的人

牵扯在一起

未来无法预测

我不知道未来的我们会怎么样

我也不知道将来还有什么挑战在等待着我们

但是至少我知道

自己选了这一条路

就不能那么轻易的放弃

曾经答应自己

只有在对方完全放弃自己后

才准许自己放弃

我或许该感到幸运

经历了那么多事情

他始终没有放弃我

这一条路

还是有他的陪伴

我不应该

也没有资格

再埋怨什么

我应该感到知足

更应该珍惜

这一段得来不易的感情

上一次分离的那一段日子

彼此都过得很辛苦

差点喘不过气来

还因为这样

差点就要结束掉我们的一切

或许是因为之前的苦

现在突然觉得

原来他在我心中占了很重要的位置

只是在分离的那一段期间

为了让自己继续前进

为了适应那种大家过着自己的生活的心情

才假装什么也不在乎

假装很潇洒

现在才发现

以前都是自己在逃避自己的感觉

以后的日子

可能会现在更难熬

希望将来不管发生什么事情

我们都可以一起解决所有的难题

可以坚持到最后

♥

明天见

终于等到那一天，

有机会可以对彼此说

“ 明天见 ”

:)

现在才发现，

原来自己的心情，

比想象中更期待。

但愿，

以后的一切，

都是那么美好

:D